Discordian Love Ritual

Admin
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Discordian Love Ritual

Postby Admin » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:06 pm

To be performed on a friday night at 9:23 pm, when you aren’t sure if the moon is waning or waxing.

Items Needed:
  • 3 day old hotdog
  • Spam key
  • Gold nail polish
  • 9 pink fruitloops
  • white string
Gather items and take to your garage.

Light a Bunsen burner.

Take the spam key (athame) and hold it above your head with your left hand.

Say:

Oh Thou who art thrifty with Her apples of gold
Bring me love of the frantic kind
Of nizzling and bozzling and grozzling bold
True Chaos, I seek to find.


To show your dedication to this newfound quest, begin painting all your finger and toe nails gold. Take your 9 pink fruitloops and string them into a necklace with the white string. When finished, touch it with your spam key and say:

Bippety boppety boo
I might look like a fool
But I’m mighty
And flighty
And all seems all-righty
It’s all so much better than drool.


Place your necklace around your neck and wear it to draw your love to you. Cook the hotdog in the bunsen burner and devour it hungrily.

Close the ritual by shouting:

Sweet Mother Mayhem!

User avatar
lover_intrep
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 5:03 pm

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Postby lover_intrep » Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:21 pm

Do I have to eat the old sausage? Sorry but this seems disgusting to me. Does anyone know if I can replace that step?

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africanous
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 5:03 pm

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Postby africanous » Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:25 pm

hahaha let's move on to the next spell, this is pretty disgusting hahaha ...

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griff_pott
Posts: 16
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 5:04 pm

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Postby griff_pott » Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:06 pm

Did someone do that?

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Anais
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 5:01 pm

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Postby Anais » Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:17 pm

"And the Oscar to the most disgusting ritual goes to ..."

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bellaw
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 5:07 pm

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Postby bellaw » Mon Oct 30, 2017 6:46 pm

This is horrendous. Who could do something like that? It's not worth it.

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destrinex
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Postby destrinex » Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:04 pm

diuuuug :shock:


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