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Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:06 pm
by Admin
To be performed on a friday night at 9:23 pm, when you aren’t sure if the moon is waning or waxing.

Items Needed:
  • 3 day old hotdog
  • Spam key
  • Gold nail polish
  • 9 pink fruitloops
  • white string
Gather items and take to your garage.

Light a Bunsen burner.

Take the spam key (athame) and hold it above your head with your left hand.

Say:

Oh Thou who art thrifty with Her apples of gold
Bring me love of the frantic kind
Of nizzling and bozzling and grozzling bold
True Chaos, I seek to find.


To show your dedication to this newfound quest, begin painting all your finger and toe nails gold. Take your 9 pink fruitloops and string them into a necklace with the white string. When finished, touch it with your spam key and say:

Bippety boppety boo
I might look like a fool
But I’m mighty
And flighty
And all seems all-righty
It’s all so much better than drool.


Place your necklace around your neck and wear it to draw your love to you. Cook the hotdog in the bunsen burner and devour it hungrily.

Close the ritual by shouting:

Sweet Mother Mayhem!

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:21 pm
by lover_intrep
Do I have to eat the old sausage? Sorry but this seems disgusting to me. Does anyone know if I can replace that step?

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:25 pm
by africanous
hahaha let's move on to the next spell, this is pretty disgusting hahaha ...

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:06 pm
by griff_pott
Did someone do that?

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:17 pm
by Anais
"And the Oscar to the most disgusting ritual goes to ..."

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 6:46 pm
by bellaw
This is horrendous. Who could do something like that? It's not worth it.

Re: Discordian Love Ritual

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:04 pm
by destrinex
diuuuug :shock: